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Bad children or good children from birth, is it possible?

Bad children or good children from birth, is it possible?



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Are there bad children? Can the child born with a predetermination to exercise evil? Can we change him with a good education? When the child does not want to eat, he reveals himself to us, questions us, puts us in evidence in front of others, or refuses to obey, we say that the child is bad; While if he behaves in a correct way, is docile, and obedient, we label him good.

There are different currents of thought on this, although most psychologists claim that there are no bad children or good children from birth.

In ancient times it was thought that children were born wild and bad by nature, and we were the parents who raised them to live in society, molding their selfish minds towards coexistence.

Todaythere is a psychological current that also supports that children they are born good or badaccording to their genetics. They defend that a part of the child's personality is innate to the individual and that, therefore, evil, selfishness, the tendency to lie, etc., can be innate in the child, and parents must correct it.

Nevertheless, most psychologists they agree that there are no bad children or good children from birthIt is us, the adults around them, who label them for their behavior.

This most positive branch from psychology, he defends that the child does not have his personality developed until the age of 18, so it is impossible to classify a child as "bad". What's more, he insists that we are the adults who we mistake a specific behavior with the personality of the child; that is, if a child disobeys us, we say that it is bad, when it is really having inappropriate behavior, even if it is repeated over time. This is a way of acting, not a way of being.

These labels influence very negatively in the child, who ends up assuming his role as "bad or good" because others define him that way; This is what is known as the Pygmalion Effect. This effect reveals that the belief that one person has about another can influence the behavior of this other person. And, on the other hand, adults we will not treat on equal terms a child to whom we have assigned the label of bad than a good one.

A child who is continually reminded of his label, whatever it may be, will end up assuming it and behaving as others expect him to do so, therefore we will be reaffirming behavior that we wanted to eradicate.

What parents and teachers commonly call"misbehave" is usually referred to a behavior that defy authority, who criticizes our decisions, who refuses to obey. It is true that these behaviors must be corrected to some extent, since the child must be accepted by the rest of society and learn to live with their teachers and friends, but it should never be done from force, or from revenge "if you make me suffer, I will make you suffer."

Usually, a challenging child is one who questions things, who asks himself questions and who challenges us, and those are behaviors that we will value in the future, when I am an adult. Therefore, it is a child who usually responds better to positive stimuli, pacts and dialogues.

They are usually children who want to attract attention, who demand more dialogue with parents, who want explanations of how the world works. Thus, parents will have to be more patient and make a greater effort to explain things to them, a thousand times, dedicate more time to him, give him an example and never label him. They should treat their behaviors as something isolated, and pay attention to the specific behavior.

On the other hand, we must take into account how complicated we adults are: On the one hand, we ask the child not to question our authority, to be moldable, to obey what we ask of him without question, but we also want him to become independent, to be self-critical, to question rules such as part of your personal growth, and do not bow your head, so do we really think that these behaviors are bad or would it be better to educate more annoying children but with a freer thought? Each one to decide for himself.

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